Friday, February 27, 2009

some of the Jems of Giturama

Rwanda reminds me of a big patchwork quilt with all the farms The picture doesn't capture it.













I think it will give you an idea though, just imagine the hills keep rolling, the quilt gets bigger and the designs keep diversifying. It has been an honor to spend every day of this week in these hills meeting people and talking to them about their community. Wow what depth of majesty is this creation!

These were the girls I wrote about previously. We spoke with community leaders and church leaders, as well as visited many homes. I can not even explain how uncomfortable it made me to ask these questions to the people including: "What are the main sources of your income and how much do you make every day?" Or "how far do you walk to the nearest water source?" or "do you clean your water?" The answers were all the same. We would hear, "it's difficult to say how much money we make because whenever there is any money at all, we spend it on food or cloths." They said the main source of income was there crops but many times there was not enough harvest to feed the family daily, let alone to be sold in the market. They spoke of not enjoying the two hour walk to the market carrying vegetables or the same walk in another direction to fetch water. Many times they can not find enough fire wood to boil and clean their water, so they mix their clean water with dirty. It was no longer just facts we were gathering from the leaders, it was actual lives that were telling us the same difficult truth. We very quickly canned the survey and it was much nicer to chat in their homes.

I must say it has been a very difficult week. I have been struggling being here and finding my role as an American who lives a very different life than these people. Difficult questions rise as I contemplate the information I find out and the poverty that I see. Crying just thinking about the pain these people feel. You may say, "Well they don't know any different," but I still can't reconcile the fact that most children only eat one time every day. How can a person get used to that hungry feeling in his belly? It is so hard to keep myself from just handing out my lunch every day, fighting with the fact that they already expect white people to come and just hand them stuff and this action only encourages this mentality. While on the other hand I can't handle eating when they are not - or coming home to a big meal, I loose my appetite just thinking about it. Yes maybe they don't know what it feels like to have a shower head and running water, maybe they can live without those things, but you need meat and protein to survive and small animals are really lacking in this area. I can not even begin to put myself in their shoes, so I can not dare to say what they can and can not live without.

I don't even know anymore what is the correct response. Help me Lord to be here for the purpose in which you have sent me, and not to expect anything different.